The Proust Questionnaire, with Ryan Oakley

Ryan Oakley was raised in a small town and discovered at an early age that he was drawn to the bright lights, white noise and gaudy trappings of the big city. In the din of the city he lives his life, experiencing it all; using his experiences to further his writing, he says, "I've always enjoyed writing. I don’t know when I started doing it — I was a little kid — and I've always tried to make the time to do it."

The launch for Ryan Oakley’s book, Technicolor Ultra Mall, is at Bakka Phoenix Books on October 22nd. See Open Book’s Events Page for details.

The Proust Questionnaire was not invented by Marcel Proust, but it was a much loved game by the French author and many of his contemporaries. The idea behind the questionnaire is that the answers are supposed to reveal the respondent's "true" nature.

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What is your dream of happiness?

Two possibilities, both good, and a coin in my pocket.

Where would you like to live?
Some place that admires smoking but not Oshawa.

What qualities do you admire most in a man?
A forthright and humorous disposition. A concern for practicalities. Also, being able to throw a ball really hard.


What qualities do you admire most in a woman?
I haven't been allowed to admire women since I married one.


What is your chief characteristic?
Misanthropy.


What is your principal fault?
I am a cold, soulless man who never takes my wife anywhere.


What is your greatest extravagance?

My wardrobe. Aside from my collection of clothing, my tastes are monastic.

What do you value most about your friends?
Their flattery. It almost makes their honesty worthwhile. Almost.


What characteristic do you dislike most in others?
Assumptions.


What characteristic do you dislike most in yourself?
My shyness and my face. Both make people think there's something wrong. And there is. But it's none of their business.


What is your favourite virtue?
It's not a virtue if you like it. 


What is your favourite occupation?
Given a choice, I've always preferred working outside.


What would you like to be?
The man I thought I was before my actions proved otherwise.


What is your favourite colour?
My wife's eyes. Whatever colour that is.

What is your favourite flower?
The blue rose.


What is your favourite bird?
The snowy owl. 


What historical figure do you admire the most?
It's hard to admire any of the people who helped compose that nightmare of bloodshed and mayhem but, in a pinch, Cicero. 


Who are your favourite prose authors?
Huxley, Wilde, Wyndham, Brunner and Twain. Does everyone say Fitzgerald? I want to say Fitzgerald. He breaks my heart.

Who are your favourite poets?
The Ol' Dirty Bastard. 


Who are your favourite heroes in fiction?
Jean Valjean and Mr. Hyde. 


Who are your heroes in real life?
I've had many over the years but recently had the good fortune to speak with some people in Bahrain. They're attempting to overthrow a hideous monarchy and their bravery humbles me. Sadly, I cannot give you their names.

Who is your favourite painter?
Thomas Kinkade. Or Dali. Whichever. 


Who is your favourite musician?
I like the one with the hair.


What is your favourite food?
Sandwiches.


What is your favourite drink?
Black coffee. Preferably less than a day old.


How do you want to die?
Like my father: Loudly. 


What is your current state of mind?
Mildly surprised that I wasn't asked for my favourite state of mind.


What do you consider your greatest accomplishment?
Not bragging about it.

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Buy this book at your local independent bookstore or online at Chapters/Indigo or Amazon
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Check back for more Proust Questionnaires with Canada's literati in this latest series of interviews on Open Book.