REVENGE OF THE NERD

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The nerd wore his pants up around his armpits and he tucked his polyester shirt into his underpants.

He combed his hair with his mother's spit.

He could add six columns but he didn't count.

He wrote bad poems that rhymed and never got in the school annual.

The cool neo-hippies in the Drama Club imitated his walk (wedgie with a dime in it) and his received Upper Canada accent.

No one wrote his name in lipstick on the washroom mirror.

He was not invited to the grow op harvest party in the art room.

"Imagine," someone called Steve asked me on the phone tonight, "what he promised himself when that girl walked off with the guy with the guitar after he'd offered her a ride on his bicycle."

"Some day I'm going to be Prime Minister and I'm going to follow the Americans into war and recession and then I'm going to cut off funding for the arts. Boy will that feel good."

"What did you say your name was," I asked?

The views expressed in the Writer-in-Residence blogs are those held by the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of Open Book: Toronto.

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Linda Rogers

Linda Rogers is the author of the novels Say My Name (Ekstasis Editions, 2000), Friday Water (Cormorant Books, 2003) and The Empress Letters (Cormorant Books, 2007). She has also published several collections of poetry, including Love in the Rainforest (Exile Editions, 1996), Heaven Cake (Sono Nis Press, 1997), The Saning (Sono Nis Press, 1999) and The Bursting Test (Guernica Editions, 2002).

Go to Linda Rogers’s Author Page