5 "favourite books" that are a warning sign on dating profiles.

Share |

There are a lot of warning signs on dating site profiles. Some of them are right there in the bio, not so subtle, like:

NO LIARS. NO FAKES. I WANT A REAL MAN WHO DOESN'T HAVE ANY BAGGAGE. ARGHHHHHHH NO WOMEN WHO WANT TO LOOK LIKE PARIS HILTON OR GIRLS GONE WILD WHORES PLZ I WANT A NICE PERSON

But sometimes the warning signs are more subtle, hidden away in the "Favourite books" section. These are some titles and authors to watch out for:

1. Anything by Ayn Rand. Unless you want to have about a million fights down the road where you wind up feeling like a crazy person for having feelings instead of being logical. I guess this book might be a plus, though, if the person is under 22 and you are looking for someone really impressionable to take advantage of.

2. The Notebook, by Nicholas Sparks - This is either the kind of dipshit guy who puts Nicholas Sparks on his profile to seem sensitive, or the kind of dipshit girl who falls for it.

3. Noam Chomsky - unless you want to spend the whole relationship pretending not to roll your eyes every time they refer to consumers as "sheeple." Unless it is his linguistics books, in which case the person is not even the interesting kind of linguistics nerd.

4. The Bible - Really?

5. The Secret - This person is just sitting at home, putting it out into the universe that someone will put up with their flaky shit. Stand up for science! Prove them wrong!

10 comments

Recently I've noticed it has become popular for those wishing to seem Smarter-Than-You to criticize Noam Chomsky offhand. (At least this has been my experience.) It reflects rather negatively on them in the eyes of anyone who actually knows something about Chomsky, who is quite the opposite of the sort of condescending, hypocritical douchebag who uses the word "sheeple".

Don't worry, it's really difficult--dare I say impossible--to insult him so flippantly without sounding like a jackass.

I really love your comics and books and I agree with the rest of your list :D

The problem, of course, is that you're assuming that it is people trying to seem smarter-than-you, when (especially in this context) it seems much more likely that I've had bad experiences in the past with people who DO use words like Sheeple, and who do idolize chomsky, or at least use him as a flag of a kind. Chomsky himself isn't the kind to say sheeple, but that certainly doesn't mean he doesn't appeal to that type. And I found his linguistics work so so boring, and sometimes a bit grandiose and unfounded. Sometimes entirely wrong-headed.

I'm glad you like the comics.

Joey

Urgh. Firstly you should be dubious of anyone who says "there're too many to choose from". This isn't names for you firstborn, it's books, grow some balls, make some decisions, and move one.

Secondly, I love Chomsky and even rate him in my favourite books (on facebook though, not dating sights because I'm not a LOSER) and have never used the word 'sheeple'.

Thirdly "some people just by the game to see what it's about". Losers by that book because they don't know how to get women and think that it'll be a miracle cure, when in fact it'll turn them into a complete douche.

Fourthly, @kewangji. Seriously? That's your handle. I reckon you probably own the game because you MUST BE A COMPLETE DOUCHE

P.S. I'm usually a very nice person, and never normally this angry on the internet. I'm certainly not usually the type of person to sign up to a website just to post one angry message. But you see, you all made me LOSE THE GAME! And so had to be punished.

1) Books are such a large medium, and serve so many purposes, that it's totally reasonable for someone to not be able to narrow down their favourite books.

2) From what you wrote here, yes you are.

3) 'get women'. lol.

4) I don't own The Game, but I've seen its results and they are not pretty.

P.S. yes sure.

xD

I think anyone would could list favourite books would be suspicious...how can you really narrow it down?

Anyone who's favorite book is actually "The Game" isn't posting a profile on a dating website. He's too busy having sex with that waitress that you're going to talk to once you get up the nerve.

You clearly learnt the wrong lesson from it, then.

@Joey: I know some people buy the book just to see what it's all about. To them, maybe it's just another book, not to be ashamed of having in their shelf?

There's probably a chapter in the game about not putting the game on your dating site profile, although I have seen it on people's bookshelves at parties, so maybe they aren't all THAT self aware.

A real player wouldn't put The Game on their profile.

You forgot "The Game" by Neil Strauss.

The views expressed in the Writer-in-Residence blogs are those held by the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of Open Book: Toronto.

Joey Comeau

Joey Comeau is the author of Overqualified and Lockpick Pornography. With photographer Emily Horne, he creates the comic A Softer World. One Bloody Thing After Another is his latest book.

Go to Joey Comeau’s Author Page